If you encounter and aggressive couple, politely tell them, that you are not interested. You are under no obligation to ever give a reason why. In fact it’s very rude for anybody to ask any couple why they are not interested.
Whichever way you look at it, most people’s feelings will always be hurt, no matter how you try to explain the reason, so our recommendation is, don’t ever try to give a reason. It is improper of anybody to ask why you are not interested, however if a couple are insistent that they know the reason you are turning them down, you should simply tell them exactly that, that it is improper of them to ask.
If any couple becomes aggressive or won't take no for an answer, please immediately speak to a staff member and let them know. Our recommendation is that you don’t ever try to talk with or handle an aggressive couple by yourselves. Asking for help is far easier, than ruining your night dealing with such behaviour.
How to say NO Gracefully
If someone is touching a spot or a part of you that feels uncomfortable, slowly move their hand from the spot or part of you they are touching and place their hand where you feel more comfortable. This is very graceful and no words need to be exchanged to understand what was meant by the move.
You can also state that something makes you feel uncomfortable and you would like them to stop.
If you have trouble saying NO to someone directly, at least practice some reasons for leaving someone's company abruptly such as needing the bathroom, or needing to take your medicine. You must empower yourself with the right words to say that will help get you out of embarrassing situations quickly. We recommend practicing these with your partner before you come to the club, the practice should be fun at the same time.
How to Spot a Predator Swinger
Predator swingers will usually prey on new couples. Predators rarely introduce their partner, their goals are usually self-serving and there is usually something specific they want from you. They are far too quick to invite you away from the club early. They know that new swingers feel uncomfortable the first time out, so a friendly invite to their house to get out of the club early can be a warning sign.
We recommend you get to know all new couples before you rush into a get together.
Predator swingers will usually move from partner to partner throughout the evening, not caring that their spouse is having a terrible time and wants to leave. Swinging is a shared experience and couples that miss this key point are missing out on the whole concept of swinging.
Predators will rarely introduce you to another couple fearing they will lose their prey. Predators will almost always make you feel uncomfortable. If you get that feeling that something is not right, trust you feelings in this case and stay away!
Predator swingers will also prey on people that have had too much to drink or perhaps under the influence of drugs. They will usually become very insistent that you really want to do something, when in fact you are telling them NO or to stop.
You should always be in visual contact with your partner if it is your first few time at a club. If you are uncomfortable with saying NO to someone, at least have a signal that you and your partner have agreed upon that will let each other know to come and help or interrupt politely.
How to Handle Experienced Couples
For new couples, almost all experienced couples can appear or do come on too strong, such as lets fuck! Many experienced couples forget what it was like starting out in the lifestyle and can scare away or intimidate new couples unintentionally. Some experienced swingers will also push newbies or first timers, these can be classed as Predator Swingers in most cases and should be handled accordingly.
f either one of you feel awkward, out of place or pressured by a more experienced person or couple, it is not impolite to remind them that both of you are new to all this and both of you are out of your element. Most experienced couples will appreciate that you have reminded them and will be patient and understanding. Some experienced swingers will not spend time with new or first time swingers, mainly due to the reality of the length of time it can take most new or first time swingers to feel comfortable or adjust to all the new feelings every couple goes through when joining the lifestyle.
The best way to handle experienced couples is to be honest and let them know how you both feel.